Once the day was done, and I was in my car I was able to give all my attention to this. At first i was flabbergasted- 'What the heck is going on?? Why is work so horrible lately??' I took some deep breaths and just drove on for a few minutes.
And then it came to me.
A few days before, I had a very upsetting experience. I had a lot of company over the past weekend. It was a fun few days and everyone went home on Sunday. When my sister was going out to her car to leave, I was standing at my front door. Suddenly, my dog pushed passed me and ran out the front door.
He made a b-line to our next door neighbors' house where they had visitors with a dog. Well, my stupid dog went and attacked the visiting dog and a dogfight ensued.
If you have ever witnessed a dog fight, you know how horrifying it is. My dog is huge (over 100 pounds) and I thought he would kill this other dog. Everyone just stood there frozen and horrified. My husband and the guy who was visiting my neighbor were able to separate the dogs.
By the grace of God, neither dog was harmed. But the damage was done. It was our dog who started the fight so we were at fault.
To make a very long story short, the visiting dog was fine and we were able to make our sincere apologies for our dog's aggression.
From an anxiety perspective, my nerves were fried. My emotions were all over the place. I didn't know if our dog would have to be put to sleep, I was horrified, I was embarrassed, I was scared that the visitor's dog was hurt, I was so angry at my dog. And all this happened on my daughter's birthday- I had to make sure she was ok.
So when I went to work this week, I was still carrying all these emotions from the weekend with me. When I got busy with work, I wasn't thinking about any of this. But all that negative energy was still inside me. In retrospect, it's pretty amazing I didn't have multiple panic attacks.
There is a lesson to be learned from this.
When I have to deal with very stressful situations- I am at a very high risk for anxious feelings or panic attacks for awhile. This does make sense to me now. It takes time to heal from a traumatic situation.
I must give my body and mind the time it needs in order to heal. I must be very gentle and nurturing with myself, because it may take awhile for me to feel back to my normal self. This means good nutrition, adequate rest, prayer, exercise, and remembering to face, accept, float, and let time pass should the anxious feelings arise again.
Do you ever feel like your anxiety or panic attacks come out of nowhere? Sometimes they do, but sometimes it can be traced back to stress. Please know if you have recently gone through a stressful situation in your life, be it a fight with your spouse, an illness, a fender bender, caring for a sick pet, etc, you may feel anxious for awhile. this is the time to take extra good care of yourself. Give yourself time to heal and you will.